Wednesday, November 21, 2007

In honor of a good man


Ok Ok ... this is a little out of the ordinary but once in a while I think its good to have a little fun and remind ourselves as men that we are valuable to our women. Yes they [women] are perfect in every way and we are not, but we do have value. So for those of you who are men reading, this is to boost your confidence in your manliness... and for those of you who are women... remember these the next time you are a little flustered with your man's 'quirks'

Yes, I am the first to admit and probably lead the way, we have our faults: Forgetting anniversaries, forgetting to put the seat down, and a whole bunch of other important things I’m forgetting. But before you go wishing for a world without any of us big dumb apes, take a minute to reflect on all the joy we bring to your world. Like duct tape, men have all kinds of helpful uses, like…

1. We do gross things you don’t want to do
Got a bug that needs squishing? A clogged drain that needs snaking? In this day and age of women doing it for themselves, every once in a while, it’s nice to sit back and let a guy feel like a “real man” and do your dirty work for you. Whether we’re sweating our butt off hefting those ten boxes of Xmas decorations out of the basement or carrying heavy bags of garbage to the curb, men are not above getting grimy for your affection.

2. Our constant desire to have sex with you has got to be good for your ego
Maybe our attempts to have quickies before you run out the door for work aren’t exactly romantic, but what can we say, you drive us wild! What could be a better boost for your self-image than a guy who wants to spend as much time as humanly possible in the presence of your nakedness?

3. We’ll never tell you that you look fat in those jeans
No matter how many times you ask or what size they are, the answer will always be unilaterally, unequivocally NO.

4. We’re easy to please
Fancy dinners? Pricey presents? Save your dough. To bring a big smile to your fella’s face, follow this simple equation: Pizza + PS3 = happy man.

5. We keep you up to date on all the latest gadgets

You don’t want a TV set bigger than your dining-room table? Fine, but we’ll let you know when your computer is hopelessly outdated and which new cell phone doubles as an MP3, takes pictures, and reminds you to call your mom on her birthday all at the same time. It’s like having your own personal electronics consultant—for free!

6. You can squeeze our arms as hard as you like during the scary parts of movies
And aside from making great stress squeeze balls at the theatre, we’re also good for a nudge in the middle of the night when you think you hear some gigantic mouse sneaking around downstairs or someone to run down three stories [in their underwear]to make sure the door was locked [even after you checked three times before going ot bed].

7. We make you laugh your butt off
Sometimes, being an overgrown three-year-old has its benefits, like all the weird faces we can make in the mirror when we are plucking those pesky nose hairs.

8. Whenever you’re upset about work, our response is always, “Your boss is an idiot.”
Guys see things in black and white. We’re not all about understanding the subtleties and layers of an argument. If you’re having problems at your job, we won’t play psychoanalyst and try to get to the root of the problem. We won’t try to figure out if you are doing anything to make the situation worse: If your boss is ticking you off, your boss is obviously a jerk and doesn’t deserve to have you onboard. We know that your are an amazing person and there is no reason in the world that anyone in the world should be giving you a hard time.

9. We nearly always make the first move
Asking someone out, leaning in for that first kiss—all instances that can result in ego-destroying rejection. But even the meekest of men are willing to take the risk when a beauty like you steps into our lives. So sit back and enjoy watching us tremble.
There must be at least 5 more ... Please comment with yours.
excerpts taken from other articles.

Friday, November 09, 2007